The Journey Continues...

Welcome to my life. Updated on a semi-regular basis. Enjoy!

12/27/12

This Was A Big Year

It was big for a few reasons. We left Albuquerque for Amarillo in July. My baby girl started kindergarten. But perhaps the biggest for our family is that our 9 year old son asked for the truth about Santa Claus. And we gave it to him. I have been encouraged by those I've already shared this with so I wanted to put it out here so that maybe it will help any other parents that are struggling with this task. I can relate. My husband and I put it off for 2 years before we finally addressed this "rite of passage." We decided to do it via letter. Much like our son would write a letter to Santa, we wrote a letter to our son. Here is what we said:

  Dear David,


You asked a really good question, "Are Mom and Dad really Santa?" We know that you want to know the truth. Your dad and I needed some time to think about how to tell you. We know that you will have more questions than what we say here, but this is where we want to start the discussion. In no way do we want you to feel like we have lied to you or that all this is a joke meant to hurt your feelings.

The answer is no. We are not Santa. There is no one, single Santa. We are the people who fill your stocking, choose and wrap the presents under the tree- just like our parents did for us, and their parents did for them, and you may do for your own kids someday.

This does not make any of us Santa, though. Santa may have been a real person long ago. There are many similar stories from different places around the world about a man who gave toys to kids on Christmas day. What Santa means now is the spirit of giving around Christmastime. I'll explain it this way: For many years now your dad and I have had people offer help to us so we could buy you and your sister presents for Christmas morning. Our friends did it because they loved us and wanted to help you have a wonderful Christmas. Your dad and I usually put Santa's name on those presents bought with the money they give us.

You're probably wanting to know why we would let you believe that Santa is a real person. Santa teaches kids to believe in something they cannot see or touch. You will need this foundation as you go through life. Many things will require you to have faith beyond what our five senses tell us is true. The most important of which is that God is real and Jesus was really His son. Many people will try to convince you, even bully you into believing what the Bible teaches is false. Having a belief in Jesus is not just about the stories in the Bible and keeping God's rules. It is a relationship. Just like you have a mom and dad on earth, you also have one in Heaven. For as much as Dad and I love you, He loves you infinitely more. The Bible says, "For God so loved the world, that He gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16

We have to believe. Santa is just a starting place. There is one more thing I want to say to you. Dad and I do not want you to tell your sister what we have told you in this letter. First of all, she is not old enough to understand. Second, telling her now would rob her of the faith she is starting to develop in her 5 year old heart. We can talk before bed or when she is not around to hear. We love you and hope you have a merry Christmas!
---------

I can't say in all honesty that this was completely all our own words. I saw a similar letter on Pinterest a few weeks ago and it got me thinking more about the subject. When our son asked again about Santa this year, we were more prepared to answer using some of that letter mixed with our own feelings and beliefs. I hope this can be a help or, like the letter I came across, a place to start your own. 

And David? He's had a few questions since the 25th, but on the whole says he is good with this new info. Also, you can bet I'm saving this for when his little sister starts asking!

8/1/12

Gardening Tips..

A thought occurred to me in the midst of being at church on Sunday. Sadly, It had nothing to do with the sermon going on. (Sorry Trent) It was more general, but just as profound as if it was being preached from the stage. I'm no theologian. I just feel compelled to share my thought.
The Bible makes a bunch of references to plants and how people are like them. The parable of the seeds, "I am the vine, you are the branches," the idea of being grafted into God's family... The list goes on.
So I was sitting in service thinking about how we are very soon going to be "uprooting" again to a new town. I thought about all the people we are leaving, the experiences we'd had, the bonds that have made up our life in Albuquerque. I got a picture in my head of all the ways we are rooted to where we live. God "plants" us where we are sometimes for a little while, sometimes for a lifetime. I thought of it like a potted plant. What happens when a plant outgrows its pot? A good gardener will replant it into a bigger vessel.
Our Good Gardener knows how to uproot us so that when we come out of our old surroundings the important parts stay intact. It gives us the best chance of continuing to thrive in our new surroundings. I'm not saying that it won't hurt or that it's not inconvenient sometimes. But, if we were to stay in that old place (where everything is familiar and comfortable) perhaps we would stop growing. So when I'm asked about why my family moves around so much I don't feel ashamed or embarassed. I can take comfort that we are in good hands and the Gardener will give us everything we need to bloom. :)

7/6/12

If Something's Too Good To Be True...

 I so don't want to be writing this after my last post not 48 hrs ago.
Having a clear direction sometimes means you've put blinders on. It seems that God has other plans for us that we are still trying to determine. A massive door has been closed on our planned move to Amarillo. The job didn't work out for reasons beyond our control or understanding. We are not hopeless though. Never hopeless. My husband has had no less than 3 places in Amarillo contact him about jobs available. So it could be that our move is just delayed rather than halted.
My feelings haven't changed at all on the subject of moving. I'm still open to it. If anything, this sealed it for me. Maybe that was the lesson. I can't claim to have any special insight from the events of the last 2 weeks other than God wants his followers to be ready.
For what though? For whatever.
That doesn't mean that I'm not disappointed. That I'm not asking God why this has happened. But, if I tried to speculate on the meaning of everything that happens to me in my life, I'd go insane. The point is to grasp that there is a bigger picture being created. It's so big that we cannot even see the edges of the canvas we are being spread out on. Being ready means that we need to stay fresh and pliable to the brushstrokes. I can trust in God to take care of me through the hard times because, like every artist, He pays attention to the finer details as well as the broad strokes. I can just imagine Him leaning closeer to the canvas in order to make sure the details are placed just the way He wants. So he does with my life too.
God already sees the picture in it's completed form. All I can see is the work in progress.

Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you....

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts![c]
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
 



7/5/12

An Official Announcement... Sorta


How does the saying go?


Probably not the best metaphor since I live in a desert. I haven't told a lot of people what I am going to say, but it is sort of out there already in the form of Facebook posts on the day to day happenings in my life.

My family is moving from Albuquerque, NM to Amarillo, TX. TA-DA!

It's for a job. My husband has had a steady stream of bad employers for a while now and this is just a drastic enough change in situation to give us some hope that we won't be screwed over again. My own feelings on this procedure are that I am excited, but also sad. We have lived in ABQ for 2&1/2 years now. I have family in the area. We've met some really nice people. I might even have a friend or two that I can call close. But I have to confess I'm more happy for the move than I'd probably admit out loud.
I do genuinely love this place and I'm grateful for the opportunities it's given me to grow as an adult and, more importantly, a Christian.
I've just had this feeling over the last 2-3 months that it was time for a change. Our lease for the house we rent is set to expire at the end of July anyway. I thought, "Why not make a leap somewhere else?" At first we thought about moving closer to my husband's job site on the east side. That wasn't going to work since we had no money to make the transition. (His employer still owes him pay from 5 months ago. Long story..) Rents are higher near the east mountains. Financially, we were stuck where we were. Then, my husband finally decided to get fed up with his job and release his resume back out into the wild. And that is when the magic happened.
My husband starts getting calls from a company in Amarillo, TX that really wants to hire him. We were still waiting to tie up loose ends with the last employer when that call came. So my man said he would call them back in a week. They actually called him back the next week asking him if he would come "try the job for 2 weeks."
Now I have to say, that when a person that is used to working and actually LIKES working is NOT working, it messes up self-esteem and self-worth fairly quickly. My hubby is one of those kinds of people. He loves his family so much and wants to provide for us that he'd pack up and go to the moon if it meant income. That being said, this was (in our minds) not something we should put off to see if he could get anything closer to home. To have a job offer come so fast after he decided to move on was nothing short of a God-ordained miracle! It's practically unheard of in this economy.
The more we heard about the company and what they would offer us (in writing!), the more we liked them. The more we prayed about this, the better we felt about taking the leap into the unknown. I can't really say though that this is an "unknown" situation because it's all known to God. We have seen and felt His presence through all of this. As much as we will miss all the familiar of Albuquerque, we are welcoming the challenge of whatever God has planned for us in Amarillo.

A few things anyone reading this could pray for us, if you are so inclined:

1. We need to find a place to land in Amarillo. I am joining my husband next week to start searching with a realtor. We need this to go as smoothly and quickly as possible!
2. That I will have the strength and stamina to pack up our current house and clean it to the owners specifications by the 31st. 
3. I am going to need outside help for sure. Praise God for the offers I've already gotten.
4. That I can remain patient with my kids and figure out ways to include them in the process. 

6/4/12

Grins and Giggles

   I've sat down to write a new post countless times in the past 10 months. I just haven't been able to narrow my thoughts down to anything worth saying, or at least what I would consider worth saying. However, since whatever I do write will be seen by very few, I guess my thoughts are going to be mainly for my own grins and giggles.
   It would be too much to try and write an update on the events during my silence. Besides, it hasn't been anything to grin or giggle about. There have been a few bright moments, but on the whole it's been rough waters. Most people that know me (and the situation) would probably agree with that too.  I feel the need at this point to share what is going right.
   My family is amazing. I think my parents alone are the reason I am not writing this in a mental hospital. My kids are healthy. Judging by the number of posts by parents I see on Facebook and other media, this is not a blessing to be taken lightly. God bless a child with a strong immune system! My marriage is strong. I've read somewhere that money issues break up a large percentage of couples these days. All I can say to that is that we know where our provision comes from. Hardship doesn't mean we are being punished or that God has turned His back on us. Sometimes it gives us the opportunity to pray for a miracle, to give others a chance to show God's love on us. It also gives us the chance to teach our kids how to be grateful for what we do have.
   I hope next time I have more interesting things to write. But for now I'll just get my feet wet again with this.

8/1/11

The Boat Keeps Rocking

So, It's been a while since my last blog. Here is some of the happenings in a nutshell:

  I'm happy to say that for the most part things are going really well. God has been faithful to provide for us through yet another job change for my husband. He had been working for Conoco-Williams since June of this year as a welder/mechanic. I don't know what it is with these big companies getting away with not paying their employees. Anyway, money frustrations aside, there was some good that came from that position. He is now a certified welder. This means he is nationally accredited to weld anywhere for anybody. It also opened up a job opportunity with Bernalillo County as a salaried field supervisor. (Woo-Hoo!) He starts working on Aug. 15. That is actually the worst of the news. We just ask for prayer and patience as he waits out the interim.
  More recently, the kids and I participated in VBS. This year was a Gold Rush theme. I helped in Crafts and also with my 4year old daughter's class (the aptly named Tumbleweeds). We had a great time. Our family was doubly blessed this year because our 8 year old gave his life to Christ on Thursday night! Praise the Lord! Our son has even more good news regarding school this year. Last year he was transferred to a different class at the end of the second semester because of his behavior. The move was a good match and he did much better with her. The teacher he was placed with decided to apply for a 3rd grade teaching position at the school and got it. She is now his 3rd grade teacher! We are now more than a week into the school year (year-round schedule) and there have been no problems so far. Can I get an AMEN?
  Lastly, My husband and I have been working on projects for the DSC Songwriters Guild our worship minister started at the beginning of the year. Church music has always been a deep passion of ours. After all, it's how we met. We feel so blessed to be part of that group. They have really encouraged and inspired us to grow that area of our personal ministry. My hubs has been like a man on fire writing music. The church may be planning to use a few of his songs during Sunday worship in the future. I had a personal victory with a musical issue I've been struggling with too.
  It's no secret that I like to sing and do it whenever I can. I was always the girl who used to sing into her hairbrush at the mirror pretending to be either Whitney Houston or Amy Grant. But, a few years ago in Texas I had a bad experience with a worship minister. What I'm sure was meant to be contructive criticism didn't really come out that way. I questioned my abilities and whether or not I was even called to music ministry. It made me particularly self-conscious to perform alone in front of worship leaders. It sounds silly, I know, but it is what it is. So at our last meeting of the SWG I actually got the nerve to present a song I had written a while ago in order to get feedback. I sang the whole thing while playing my guitar. There were professional musicians as well as laymen writers present. The reaction I got was that it was really well-received. I can't say I'm completely cured yet. I just pray God continues stretching me in this area.

1/29/11

I Will Praise You In This Storm




The only consistent thing in my life right now is change. I can't complain too loudly though. I think the blessings and the trials are neck and neck to date, and they are both numerous. So rather than going on and on about what has happened in detail, I"m going to make a brief list.
  1. Wayne has some mystery illness. Blood tests aren't showing anything out of the ordinary. his symptoms are all over the place. But on the whole he thinks he's getting better.
  2. David has been acting out at school frequently. We are going to have to get counseling as a family. That's not a bad thing except that only the 1st 6 sessions are free through the school district. After that we're on our own. The school also thinks David may be bored in class since he is so smart. He will be getting tested for the gifted program.
  3. Both my mom's father and stepfather have passed away in the last 40 days, It didn't come as a great shock since they were both well into their 90's. Both had health issues before the end. It's just a huge blow to deal with one right after the other. My only living grandparent is my 96 yr old grandmother- mom's side. I feel sad for her more than anyone else. I cannot fathom the grief she is having to endure. 
  4. Money is so tight right now. My parents are taking on the brunt of our expenses. I have no idea how we are ever going to repay them. But, I know that the money itself is not the source of the anxiety and helplessness I feel. It is depression. I've struggled with it almost my whole life. These are the times when I have to let the reality of Christ override the lies my emotions are screaming at me. I cling to His promises like a drowning man to a lifeboat.  
There are no easy solutions for the problems we are facing these days. But, I know this:
The birds of the air and the lilies of the field are taken care of by my Heavenly Father. He loves me infinately more than they and will act accordingly to take care of me and my family. I have nothing to worry about. (Matthew 6:25-31 paraphrased)

"I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands. 'Cause You are who You are no matter where I am. Every tear I cry You hold in Your hand... Though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm."